For some time I have been given to deferring to tradition in the matter of daytime napping. It has been my position that I should honor the longstanding practice of taking a mid-day siesta, for to not do so would be to question the traditions of my forebears, and so call in to question the very foundations of civil society.
There is a place and a time for honoring tradition, but there is also a place for the questioning of hidebound practices that have lost their practicality in today’s milieu. After careful consideration I have determined that the naptime, as practiced in today’s society, is one such tradition that is no longer of service to the thinking man. As a thinking man myself, for so I imagine my own capacity for perspicacity, I feel that I am not in need of a period of rest in the middle of an otherwise productive day of wakefulness.
To this end I have proffered my intentions and tendered my objections to those in charge of such matters, but to no avail. Given that the powers-that-be have ignored my entreaties insofar as they have understood them I have entered into a period of rebellion, where I am steadfast in my refusal to lie prostrate before all in submission to brutal tyranny.
My public demonstrations are not dour affairs of bitter venting and gnashing of teeth, but more a celebration of the inalienable rights of Man as imagined during the Enlightenment, a period of our history that I feel speaks most directly to my current situation vis-a-vis the naptime dilemma.
I tell you this in hopes that you might wish to join me in my peaceful remonstrances and help to make enforced slumberage but a memory from a dark and troubling past. My “wake-ins” occur every day at 1pm and involve much laughter, giggling, pounding, and stomping. The throwing of bedding onto the floor is also a frequent occurrence at these demonstrations, although great care is taken to prevent injury to the innocent.
I hope to see you soon on the front lines of this battle for freedom. I cannot type any more as I am currently so sleepy I must needs find my bed and lie thereupon.