The continuing exploits of Mr. Finnegan as he conquers the world with his cuteness.

Wandering the meandering pathways through the dark jungles of the wild I stumbled upon a creature both curious and magnificent. It was shaped as a fur-covered log, but with four appendages protruding upwards as if grasping for the sky. The creature had no true face, as far as could be seen, but appeared to be a vast mound of white fluff framed by the four arms, if I may call them such, also adorned by additional luxuriant growths of hair. This broad expanse of fur seemed to call to me with each sudden flailing from one side to the other: “Sink your hands in my furry belly and give it a good pat”.

Fur covered beast

It was then that I saw the head and recognition swept over me. This mysterious beast, this flailing mound of fur, was none other than Miss Maisy Day, the One True Dog. She is often spoken about only in whispers, the stuff of myth and legend – and here she was before me!

It was then that I spied the giant squirrel.

As oft happens on my adventures one chance encounter with extraordinary circumstances follows fast on the heels of another. And here I found myself suddenly confronted with a squirrel of such enormous proportions I can only ascribe to it the sobriquet of “Ginormous”.

Fie! Squirrel!

The giant squirrel and I did battle for many days and many nights. The jungle echoed with the sounds of our war cries and the clash of weapons. When the dust had settled a lone figure could be seen in the midst of a great smoldering crater – a small gentleman of generous proportions, regal yet elegant, with gentle mien faintly reminiscent of Baudelaire.

Finnegan Wilde triumphant!

A gentleman should endeavor to cultivate a warm, hearty, and fulsome laugh that is pleasing to the ear, welcoming to the eye, and inviting to the onlooker giving them the irresistible desire to join in the merriment. A winning laugh should be both manly and childlike, filled with youthful abandon and yet fully under the control of its master. In many situations a good hearty laugh can do the work of a thousand witty and politic words, paving the way for friendships, alliances, and even matrimonial bonds. In short, it is a gentleman’s duty to bring forth this healthy outbursting of mirth as it is the duty of a fountain to bring forth the bubbling waters of the spring.

For your edification I have produced here a sampling of my own deep, hearty, and fully manful laugh. Listen and learn.

In order to develop this well formed laughter I employ the device of an amusing animal, in this case Maisy my dog, who does great frolic with an empty paper bag. What dolorous soul could not be soon amused by her frisky antics? And also, who is it who can resist the infection of my well-practiced laugh and thus begin the inescapable paroxysms of the hearty guffaw. I dare say that the answer is “none”.

It does a body good to take of the fresh air on occasion. On a recent Saturday I suggested to my fellows that fresh air was in order, to which they replied that mine was a capital idea. With a brief frenzy of preparation and packing, our vehicle was readied for what turned out to be a most refreshing excursion into the local wilds.

Baby on the beach

We flew through what I assume are the giant tubes of the universe to a windswept vista of water and sand. What lay before me was called a “river”, which, if I have this right, is like a really long bathtub with the faucet always running. This seemed like a wonderful idea to me, but this visit was not to be a bath time, much to my lasting disappointment.

Mother Dear

This river of the Cowlitz was populated by funny little people in noisy little boats scurrying about. The four-legged creature who is always sniffing me, Maisy I think her name is, was also there, and seemed to enjoy herself immensely as she ran back and forth barking at the little boats.

Father and Maisy

After a short circumambulation about the grassy areas of the park, past the boat launch and the playground filled with screaming children, we returned to our vehicle. Once home again it was time for a light meal of milk and a nap. It was agreed by all that such outings are to be a regular fixture of our routine in future. Capital idea indeed!