The continuing exploits of Mr. Finnegan as he conquers the world with his cuteness.

Being born in August, this October is my very first October, which also makes it my first opportunity to make the yearly pilgrimage to the Pumpkin Patch on Sauvie Island. From what I gather, this is a required yearly ritual that I am to perform as part of my membership in our nuclear unit.

Perfect Pumpkins

The place was filled with the milling denizens of Earth, more people in one location than I had imagined existed. There were so many, in fact, that I can only assume that the ones in the distance were in danger of being crowded over the edge of the horizon, and hence off the edge of the Earth. What happens then I have yet to find out.

We wandered about and took pictures and video to document our accomplishments. Mother and Father ate something called an “Elephant Ear”, which led me to be on the lookout for any angry earless elephants that might still be lurking near. We took the grand promenade which included the petting zoo of farm animals. I was amazed that the other people were amazed at seeing the animals, as I have seen many a chicken and goat right near my house, so I assumed that they were plentiful and even distributed across the planet.

Finally we visited the store where Mother had to battle the throng in order to purchase a special honey that is only found in that place. The shouting and jostling of the ensuing melee gave me the permission I needed and I lent my voice to the cacophony.  The only real problem was that my screaming lasted long after we had left the store area, and did not abate until I was safely ensconced in my carseat back. And so ended our delightful visit to the Pumpkin Patch.

For those of you who have yet to try it, I highly recommend travel by Mother. The service en route is excellent, and the level of care taken in attending to the traveller’s every need is quite remarkable. If you can afford it, I would suggest that you make use of this means of travel at your earliest convenience.

Traveller

With my Mother providing the means of locomotion I recently embarked on an extensive journey into the wilds of rural Oregon. Let no man tell you that the days of intrepid exploration are over, for I have returned from places where none have dared venture before to tell you that true wilderness yet exists!

I saw creatures of such fantastic description that you would scarce believe me, and vistas of such color and beauty that I am still amazed as I dictate these words to my father (who acts as my trusted emanuensis). Sir Richard Burton never had such journeys as the one that I recently returned from, a journey that must rival even the first landing on the moon!

But please, you must excuse me, I am exhausted from my travels and must tend to my comfort. A drop of nourishment and a nap should do me a world of good. And then I shall scale Mount Everest. . .