Archive for the ‘ Adventures ’ Category

A Boy and His Dog

There is a wondrous creature I must needs tell you of, for she is full of fun and playful romps, covered in a luxuriant coat of the fluffiest fur, and waits patiently for me to join her in frolic. But alas! I am still but an infant, as yet unable to toddle forth and throw a ball or a frisbee or a stick. This sorry impasse is cause for much consternation on both of our parts.

Mutual longing

Mutual longing

Maisy will bring me her favorite toy, in this case her Kong, and set it at my feet. I am fully aware of what is expected of me, but I simply cannot arrange my limbs in such a way as to comply with her wishes. We spend many hours each day looking at each other longingly, knowing in our hearts that someday we will gambol about with wild abandon – lamps, tables, and chairs be forewarned!

Someday your Prince will come

Someday your Prince will come

Eventually we tire of staring into one another’s eyes and Maisy comes to give me a sniff and a comforting snorfle, and then we must go our separate ways. Such are the travails of a baby’s life, not so dissimilar to those of a dog’s.

Merry Christmas to all my fans.

I wish to thank all of the people who have made this blog so much fun for me to create. At only three and a half months I, and this blog, are at an age where it is appropriate to look back and take stock of all that has been. Having done so, and after many deep moments of meditation, I have come to the conclusion that Christmas trees are shiny, and I would like to put them in my mouth.

A Finn in a Xmas Tree

A Finn in a Xmas Tree

This conclusion is inescapable, given all that I now know. Also, wrapping paper is crinkly, but stops being so after sufficient moistening with the mouth. These are the most important lessons to be learned from this season of shiny, crinkly, sparkling joy.  I have been told that gift giving is also important for the season, but I have been getting gifts all of my life, so I fail to see any difference in that. Excuse me, I have a tree to bite on, if only Mother or Father would hold me close enough!

The Teeth of Victory

The epic journey known as “teething” has begun for me. I know not what fate shall befall me, but I already know that it will occasionally hurt. I know this by the screams that echo through the hours of my travail.

Biting

Biting

It all began innocently enough, with but a trickle of drool running down my chin. At first I thought nothing of it, but then the trickly became a flood, and then the screaming began. Sudden, stabbing pains shot through my body, eliciting the howls of agony that have now become the stuff of legend. Soon I found my only solice in chomping and biting down on things such as: fingers, toys, more fingers, other toys.

chewing

chewing

And yet, for all my hard work, I still have nary a tooth in sight! I am told it could be another 3 months. That’s almost as long as I have been alive on this earth! Good grief, this tooth business is a messy one. Sorry, I shouldn’t talk with my mouth full.

Nuclear Family

I don’t know why this is called a “Nuclear” Family.

Going Nuclear

Going Nuclear

Do you think that we might explode at some point? I guess I’ll just have to devote my life to the study of physics so I can find the answer to questions such as these.

Giving Thanks for Grandparents

Mother and Father took me to a far away land where Nana Pam and Papa Henry live. I have come to understand that Mother has her own Mother and Father, and that Father has two of his own as well. Which means that I have a whole mess of grandparents! Needless to say, this is cause for much rejoicing, which must be why our visit was crowned with a feast of great quantities of food.

Nana Pam and Papa Henry

Nana Pam and Papa Henry

Sadly none of the food was fit for a newborn to eat. I guess I’ll have to get working on a nice solid set of choppers.

Jiggity Jig

Mother and Father dusted off the Victrola and played for me the musical compositions of a Mr. David Bowie. This provided me with a delightful accompaniment for an impromptu jig, which I executed at once in the hallway of our abode.

Jiggity Jig

Jiggity Jig

If memory serves me correctly, the lyrics of the composition this jig was performed to comprise of the following stanzas:

Will you stay in our Lovers’ Story
If you stay you won’t be sorry
‘Cause we believe in you
Soon you’ll grow so take a chance
With a couple of Kooks
Hung up on romancing

We bought a lot of things
to keep you warm and dry
And a funny old crib on which the paint won’t dry
I bought you a pair of shoes
A trumpet you can blow
And a book of rules
On what to say to people
when they pick on you
‘Cause if you stay with us you’re gonna be pretty Kookie too

[CHORUS]

And if you ever have to go to school
Remember how they messed up
this old fool
Don’t pick fights with the bullies
or the cads
‘Cause I’m not much cop at punching other people’s Dads
And if the homework brings you down
Then we’ll throw it on the fire
And take the car downtown

“Kooks” by David Bowie

For my Portfolio

As an up-and-coming high fashion model I have it on the highest authority that my first duty is to procure a portfolio of my work such that my agent can circulate my countenance amongst the purveyors of lucrative advertising campaigns. The first order of business in assembling my portfolio is to capture what is known as a “head shot”. Every model’s portfolio is built around this seminal piece. I give you:

Head Shot

Head Shot

Of course this will most certainly ensure my rise to the very top of the high fashion world, but in the unlikely event that it does not I am sure that it will be very useful in my budding career as a novelist. I think the back of the jacket cover is ready to go, don’t you?

Cat / Human Hybrid Baby

Submitted for your approval: a creature with the upper body of a human baby and the lower body of a black and white common house cat. Is this the creation from the laboratories of some scientific genius gone mad? Or perhaps the offspring of some unnatural mixing of the human and animal kingdoms?

Cat Baby Hybrid

Cat Baby Hybrid

Alas, it is clear from this documentary evidence that aliens have visited our planet not once, but at least twice, once for each half of this unholy alliance of human and feline. It is obvious to those who ‘know’ that such a creature is most perfectly suited for the accomplishment of their aims of subjugating our world. The sneakiness of cat combined with the irresistible cuteness of baby – all shall fall before me . . . er, uh, I mean ‘it’. Did I say ‘me’? What was I thinking?

Quiet Contemplation

Mother says: One day I went for a walk in the woods and found a wee elf baby sleeping under a toadstool. I picked him up and took him for a ride. He loved staring into the trees.

Contemplating

Contemplating

She then said: Then the wee elf baby, utterly spent from our grand adventure, fell asleep in my arms. So I took him home and kept him!

Quiet Contemplation

Quiet Contemplation

I do so love Mother’s stories.

The Ocean is Wide

I have made the most remarkable discovery this weekend past: I have seen the ocean, and it is truly stupendous in its breadth and width, such that I can scarce believe it possible that anything could extend so far in all directions.

The beach is A OK with me

The beach is A OK with me

Father held me down where I could observe the waves coming in, an event I beheld over and over with rapt attention.

Watching the waves

Watching the waves

Following this, Mother took me in her arms and ran freely out to sea! We were quickly engulfed in the pounding surf, an experience I will never forget.

Mother and I in the ocean

Mother and I in the ocean

My concept of “large” must now be amended. Now that I have seen the ocean I can understand that there may be a few other things out there that I have yet to discover. If I had not seen the ocean I would not have believed any who told me of it. I recommend to anyone such an experience. Not to be missed.