Archive for the ‘ Adventures ’ Category
The paparazzi got me again.
Posting to the blog
Here I am with father dictating a new entry for my online web log. This particular session occured just previous to my epic outdoor adventure described in the posting just prior to this one. The work of the creative soul is never finished.
For those of you who have yet to try it, I highly recommend travel by Mother. The service en route is excellent, and the level of care taken in attending to the traveller’s every need is quite remarkable. If you can afford it, I would suggest that you make use of this means of travel at your earliest convenience.
Traveller
With my Mother providing the means of locomotion I recently embarked on an extensive journey into the wilds of rural Oregon. Let no man tell you that the days of intrepid exploration are over, for I have returned from places where none have dared venture before to tell you that true wilderness yet exists!
I saw creatures of such fantastic description that you would scarce believe me, and vistas of such color and beauty that I am still amazed as I dictate these words to my father (who acts as my trusted emanuensis). Sir Richard Burton never had such journeys as the one that I recently returned from, a journey that must rival even the first landing on the moon!
But please, you must excuse me, I am exhausted from my travels and must tend to my comfort. A drop of nourishment and a nap should do me a world of good. And then I shall scale Mount Everest. . .
It has been difficult for me during this beginning of the fall fashion season, with my rugged good looks, and my impish smile, I have been in high demand for glossy fashion photos (as seen below).
Male Model
This particular item was the creation of Adrian Bizilia, a prominent East Coast designer. At the show I must admit that I had a bit of a trantrum over the accompanying hat that the designer insists goes with the ensemble. The fashion world is still buzzing about it, but the hat simply covered up too much of my beauty, which would deprive my public of the one thing I know that they truly need – which is more of me. I did, however, pose with the hat for the European edition of Vogue, as seen below.
Supermodel
As can be seen from the photograph above, the fast paced lifestyle of high fashion is taking its toll. I am seriously considering returning to my previous life as a cute baby. If only the paparazzi would leave me be!
I have come to a deep appreciation of what is commonly called “the bath”. It is one of the singular joys in life to take the waters and be refreshed both in mind and in body. I have only had six or so baths in my lifetime, but each has been singularly the most exhilhirating experience so far. After my last visit to the spa I was utterly spent!
Sleep of the clean
I rest my case, as I rest my self. Clean in thought as I am in deed, including between my tiny little toes.
It is good news all around after my first appointment with my own personal physician. According to modern medical science, I am a strapping young lad of 10 pounds and six ounce, and have reached the height of 23 inches. That means I have grown 11 ounces in weight and 2 inches in height since my birth, little more than two weeks previous. This certainly explains my constant desire to seek nourishment. Hats of to my patient mother for helping me in this endeavour.
Gnomes haunt my dreams
In other news: I entertained my Aunt Louella this last weekend, and it was a smashing success. If I do say so myself, I was much the most gracious host. Being the gentleman that I am I sat with my Aunt and held forth on many of the most important issues of the day. Uncle Johnny sat and admired my command of the relevant facts, and all were impressed with my erudite and eloquent expositions.
Last night I found myself deep in a dark pit of despair, inconsolable, and bereft of all hope. Weary of this endless vale of misery I cried out in my anguish, shaking my little fists at the skies. My mother and father both tried to help me, investigating my diaper, offering milk, singing me songs and walking with me late into the night – but nothing could prevail over my dark mood. My cries rang out into the black void of the night.
These are the times that try men's souls.
Then my father sat with me at his computer and played some music for me. At first I was shocked at this new sound, and forgot my troubles immediately. Father was playing some delightful and spritely music played by a quartet of rambunctious lads from merry olde England, a magical place where I must assume faeries and gnomes have gay jousts whilst riding on the backs of butterflies and caterpillars.
I am told that what I heard was the music of Led Zeppelin, and many songs of great variety they were. For more than an hour I listened in rapt attention to this universe spanning symphony of sounds and colors and vibrations so varied and energetic that I felt that my very soul was traveling through space and time – a feeling that made me nostalgic for my recent past when floating through time and space was my primary occupation, being as yet incorporeal.
Finally there was one song, the title of which I cannot be entirely certain, that told of a lady who I can only surmise was mother (I know of very few other ladies) who wished to buy a magical stairway. But this was no ordinary stairway, it was a stairway to Finnegan!
Hallelujah
Oh glorious day! Oh wondrous song! That you could so accurately capture my joy and tell it back to me! For is that not what the whole world is? A stairway to Finnegan.
I know of no other destination. Fortunately for me I am already here.
In my recent explorations of this new world I have come across one most excellent feature: father. It seems that, in addition to a mother, I also have what is known as a “father”. At first this posed quite a riddle for me, as this “father” person is not a provider of milk which immediately posed the question of: “what good is he?”.
Well now I know. My father is there for changing my diaper, picking me up when I cry out, singing songs to me when I am lonely, and giving me a safe and warm place to make my repose.
I have heard the saying that when I smile the whole world smiles with me. Let us see if that is really true. . .
Today I achieved a milestone: 7 days in the open air. At 2:57pm I was greeted with a rousing rendition of “Happy Birthday” sung with great feeling by my beloved parents.
Today was also my first attempt at receiving visitors in my new home. My mother’s parents, to be known as “Nana” and “Papa” henceforth, arrived in the early afternoon bringing gifts of food and much appreciated attention.
Although preparations for the visit were extensive, I managed to keep my composure during the entire time. I credit this to my steady diet of mother’s milk, a most excellent source of nourishment, and one I can highly recommend.
Take a look at this and tell me what you make of it: