Posts Tagged ‘ ball

New Home

In accordance with the precepts of family tradition it is with all due deference to said principles that I perform the rites of “house-warming” in ways unique to one of my predilections.

First I must examine the Feng-Shui as it relates to shapes and colors. If only there was a huge blue sphere that I could juxtapose with rectangles and triangles. . .

Geometry in action

Geometry in action

Once I have acquitted myself of this essential I can then pass on to the next stop in my journey of spiritual cleansing.

Is there a window where a nose can be pressed so as to resemble that of a pig? This search must be meticulous as well as demanding, for no stone can be left unturned.

Eureka!

Eureka!

The necessaries now completed it is established that this residence is fit for habitation.

By the schedule it is decided that next week we shall pick up stakes, as the phrase goes, and descend on the tiny hamlet of Portland, there to make hearth and home. I do so hope that the residents of that berg are prepared for what is coming.

Red Orb of Power

As part of my rigorous study of the nature of existence I have lately been engrossed in the fascinating field of topology, specifically the topology of spheres.

Preliminary approach

Preliminary approach

My methodology is both simple and exacting, as I apply force of varying levels and examine the response from the object under study.

Adjusting the force to laughter ratio

Adjusting the force to laughter ratio

I have discovered that the composition of a spherical object has a marked impact on the resilience of the surface to sudden applications of force using my chosen tools of inquiry: my slappy hands.

Final Conclusion: Awesome!

Final Conclusion: Awesome!

Pigmentation must not be overlooked as a factor in the spatio-visuo-spherico-continuum. Thus I have made my contribution to the sum of human knowledge. My discovery: Red Ball Makes Me Laugh!

The simple act of writing this scientific account of my experiments in this field has given me fresh ideas for future avenues of research. First, I must answer the question: What Does the Ball Taste Like? Humanity must have an answer!